Winter is more introspective- even friends when together seem to have a different tone of conversation during the winter. Maybe we’re all thinking a bit about our mortality or something odd like that…

The point here is whatever the “winter blues” are I think they can be dealt with better when you’re conscious of what’s taking place within you. 

It’s been proven that the pineal gland shrinks slightly when it doesn’t get enough light in the winter, thus causing depression for some folks. So it’s good to take some other measures to combat that occurence; cozying up to the fireplace, reading a great novel, movies- especially comedies, meaningful conversations with loved ones/ friends, and of course a soothing uplifting mini music library.  All of theses things can help to keep you more in balance and pull you out of any doldrums you may be experiencing.

So this year I’ve promised myself I’m going to remember to keep my spirits up and take care of myself differently since Miss Sunshine has apparently headed south.

Well- the point here is that the art of relaxation and being generally cool  etc. like Mr. Obama I believe has something to do with one’s musical taste also. In fact the music we choose to listen to says alot about who we are and what we are attracted to. Sexy music? Well constructed and proper Classical Music? Caffeinated bebop jazz? Angry heavy metal? Dance inviting Hip-Hop grooves? Where do you fit in? What personality does your main tunes bring out in you?

My guess with Barack Obama is that he’s got some chill/take the edge off music somewhere he puts on when it feels appropriate. I may be off here, but I’d be real surprised if he doesn’t.

Maybe I’ll find out someday…

I do choose to tune in to world news etc., but I also have a warm bubble I can turn to whenever I need it. I insulate my world from the bigger world when I need to stay positive and not get too drained by it all. The right music, silence, attitude, movies, topics etc. They all play a part in what I decide is my reality here. That’s the beauty of being an individual and seeing what you want to see outside of yourself; you do get to do that.

I’ve noticed alot of folks do use music to create a personal sense of reality for them. Los Angeles is a great example. Check out any major traffic snarl next time you’re there and you’ll spot them: the folks with the tunes pumping away keeping them upbeat, or soothing them, or however you describe it, even when they could be really bumming. They are creating a mini-universe of their own choice within the larger deal and are surely better off for it.

So I’m going to keep my little scene bright and shiny as much as I can. I’m gonna notice all of the blessings I can find. I’m going to keep myself in the best place I can. I’m gonna see things through my own sheltered lens. I’m gonna help when and where I can and chill when I know I really need to. I’m gonna choose to exist in light when I know I could be swept up in darkness if I let it play out that way. The choice is ultimately my own…

We all have our own personal way of dealing with the stresses, strains, and tests of life. What works for some certainly could be meaningless for another. 

The main thing I’m discovering is that my immune system reacts pretty dramatically when I get overly stressed out, by lowering my resistance almost immediately, and setting me up for a fall if I don’t catch it somehow. Then to top it off actually getting sick is another added stress to deal with..yuk..let alone trying to work or manage children when I’m dragging along.

 Again as far as what I’m wanting for myself is, it’s to be constantly aware of a sense of balance, and when I’m starting to tip that precious balance the wrong way; the balance I’m referring to is between what I experience as stressful activities and those I consider to be relaxing activities. 

For example thinking uptight thoughts about something bothering me and breathing shallow little stressed out breaths can be shifted by taking deeper breaths and telling myself I’ll work it out somehow, which is relaxing. Driving in some nasty traffic and being late may be very stressful, but listening to some relaxing, healing, positive-vibe type music at the same time could balance that out etc.  

I also can choose my thoughts wisely. Man my thoughts can really set up how comfortable or uncomfortable I am in my body! Truth be told I am creating my own stress level much of the time. I’m trying to remember: I can always act rather than react if I want to. So- how do I want to act? How do I want to use that personal freedom?

“Whistling in a storm” so to speak isn’t an easy task, but it can be done! I am learning to laugh when I don’t know what else to do. Laughing is a great stress reliever. I try laughing to myself in situations when I never would have dared before, it’s freeing- it feels like acting rather than reacting. I get to choose what I think, feel, and say. I get to let the guy that rudely cut in front of me going way too fast in his cool car do his thing without ruffling my feathers. The other side of this is I’m sure he would have loved to get me upset…sorry-not today boss…

Exercise can definitely be a natural balancer for stress. The more stressed I get during some crunch time, the more I can choose to move more and take care of myself using physical exercise. Even just getting off the computer for a few minutes of odd stretching and moving all around feels great. Enough sleep, and or a catnap here or there really can be a balancer too.

By staying aware of the exact activities that led up to how I got sick the last time, I can see where I got out of my little balance dance between stress and relaxation. Then I can try to head it off next time by not tipping over the wrong way too far. I find if I watch what I eat that helps too.. intuitively I know what’s healthy and what’s not as far as that goes. 

Finding comfort in a world that seems so demanding these days is quite the feat for most of us. Don’t give up though.. it’s still doable. Finding and holding onto that sometimes delicate balance seems to be stress management at it’s best- for me at least. 

Communion With Ourselves

Comforting music allows us to enter into a form
of communion with the part of ourselves that wants to take
care of us. This part of ourselves has a beautiful, clear,
radiant vibration to it; it’s the spiritual part of who we
are.

How does certain music connect us better to this great
part of ourselves? It happens because music changes our
vibrations. We are all vibrating at a certain rate; every
molecule that makes up our body has it’s own little
vibrating pattern! Then all of our molecules together
create one big vibration symphony of sorts.

Out of Tune Symphony

That’s all great, but sometimes things get all out of tune
and vibrating out of kilter within ourselves our symphony
gets all messed up and we end up experiencing stress and
uncomfortable emotional states. Needless to say sometimes
the way we vibrate and resonate with other people really
gets all goofed up too!

Music that we find personally soothing untangles our
emotions and realigns us from within. It smooths out the
jagged vibrations building up.Then our day can go
better.

Quickly Shift Your Mood

It’s amazing how quickly this can happen. Our mood and
disposition can shift almost immediately and quite
dramatically when the music is right on. What a gift; and
we’re not taking a pill or having to rely on drugs so much
to get into that better place with ourselves.

So it makes sense that those of us who have experienced the
benefits of the right music at the right time choose to get
our own personal library of tunes together. Then we can go
exactly where we need to go vibration-wise when the next
thing comes our way that’s challenging us.

One of the great benefits of healing types of  music is that our mood can melt into something softer and more agreeable to our stressed out emotions and physical body almost immediately. It’s that vibration thing again- the right music changes our vibration by smoothing out  those personal jangles that would have us in one huge permanent knot someday if we didn’t address them.

Whenever I need a vacation from my angry beast I put the healing tunes on and he somehow chills down,  I can think straight again, and at times even laugh at what was bothering me.

So…try diluting your anger with the right music next time it won’t seem to dissipate. You may discover something you can use to be a more comfortable you.

But I’m writing about a different kind of listening, one that I’m working on as one of my “life projects.” It has to do with honoring others through the giving of true attention and learning to listen to them better, even when it’s uncomfortable. Yes..I do my best, but I’m convinced there’s more to be done. I realize that as I try to listen to my daughter, to my x, to friends and non-friends, to the praise, to the criticisms etc.  I still push away what I don’t want to hear and only let in what feels okay for me-that’s the way it’s been my whole life.

The truth is there’s more to the picture. Why? Because everyone we have in our circle and everyone we meet are versions of ourselves that are reflecting a piece of our identity in some way back to us constantly. In other words in some ways we are simply talking to ourselves when others are making a point in our direction! Pretty intense and of course it’s much easier to see them as them and us as us.

The problem with that though, is that you wall off and miss out on the richness that life has perfectly set up for you to learn from; there is almost always some kernel of truth for you embedded in the communication you attract each day. I remember an interesting thing a friend once told me jokingly “I’m sad to say I realize I’ve learned more about myself from the people I hate than anyone else!” We both laughed of course.

So though I have always loved and listened to music very very well in my life and will continue to do so, I’m going to stay aware the best I can and see what the other sounds in my world are trying to tell me. Maybe I’ll get to go somewhere I’ve never been before…

It’s not that hard to come up with a list; like when I think of the places I’ve been to in this world where hundreds of thousands of people have no running water to bathe with etc. and very minimal food if any on a given day, I see how much I have. Or when I look at 5 year old daughter and my heart overflows I think about how lucky I am. I think a lot more these days about what I do have, than about what I don’t have. In fact it’s almost hard to not feel more relaxed and comfortable whenever you put your heart into doing this. Honestly and sincerely being grateful…a new comforting habit. Maybe you’ll find there’s more that you can celebrate also. Try it and see what I mean..smiling a lot to yourself is pretty cool actually.